I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
