she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
