I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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