We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Randomize
