Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
