85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I touched a dick in church today
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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