you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
