they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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