Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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