I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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