Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I will be naked everywhere
I got inside last night via doggy door
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
