dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
