I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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