I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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