is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
