Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
