MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Green mimosas i think yes
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize