office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
