My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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