you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
