I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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