Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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