he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
