My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
