And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Randomize