What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
