p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
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The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
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After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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