Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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