My hand turned me down
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
