I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
