I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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