remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
