maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
