If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
now i know why i became what i already was.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
