i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
