I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
