Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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