My first STD was from a foam party
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
