I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I wish there were birth control emojis
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
