The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
