I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Randomize