so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
