So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
They have beer where we have blood.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
