He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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