I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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