I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
