I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
