told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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