ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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