Are we in a gay sports bar?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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