porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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