I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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