I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
