Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
