but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
