You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
