remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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